Legasp!
by EnterAbyss29.91
Summary: A few Kh moments created by moi, lots of random funny stuff, impossible to pass up in my mind.very cracky, you wont regret it...or will you? **evil laughter** READ and REVIEW, please i beg of you! make me feel special **innocent face**
1. Shopping, moogles, and mommies

**I am only writing this for I am bored to death and my good friend JacindaWeire wanted me to write a cracky-kingdomhearts-ficcy, If it sucks don't yell at me I personally think my style of crack is cheap and pathetic but I will do it for the fame that comes along with kingdom hearts. If I get any info wrong don't yell at me, I am only a level 8 in two and I am still working on Halloween town in one.**

In clothing store by Kairi's request- 2:34 PM on a Monday.

**Sora**- How would I look in this?(says completely serious holding up a bright pink, frilly cocktail dress)

**Riku**- ...(confused look)

**Roxas**- argh(buries face in hand while waving off a confused Sora)

**Axel- **Great, I think you should try it on!(Says smiling)

**Sora- **Okay! (skipping towards dressing room)

**Axel- ****evil laughter** preparing phone to video tape

**Kairi- **Thats not very nice!...hes just confused... (can't think of real excus**e)**

**Riku**- (still confused look) Why...

**Sora-** (still skipping comes up with the dress on smiling) the lady told me she shouldn't let me try it on, that it was against rules...so I cut her with my keyblade,yayyy!

**Axel-** (on floor rolling around choking for air)

**Roxas-** (walking away) Picks up Axel phone and pockets it.

**Namine-** (pops up randomly) why are you taking that?

**Roxas-** going to sell it for being a kingdom hearts charctors phone, I will get thousands for it. (speaking boredly)

**Namine-** I could tell Axel you took his phone...but wouldn't it just be easier to split the cash

**smiles evily**

**Roxas-** …

**Namine-** **still smiling evily**

**Roxas- **…

**Namine-** **smiling possibly more evily**

**Roxas- **…

**Namine-** **Smiling evily while dramatic music plays in the back round**

**Roxas-** …

**Namine-** **still smiling evily with dramatic music playing loudly in back round:begins to laugh evily as well**

**Roxas-** …

**Namine-** hehehe

**Roxas-** FINE, just don't do that creepy laughing ever again! (with more emotion than was usual for him)

**Namine-** What laughter? (looks at Roxas innocently while disappearing into void)

**Roxas-** weird...

At grocery store while looking at a box of food with dancing pandas on it(that's for you Jacinda)-3:33 on Monday

**Roxas- **What is the point towards food produsts having animals on it, noboy, even children get that excited over animal covered Ramen? (frowns at Ramen)

**Sora**- (Hugging box with dancing pandas on it excitedly asking Kairi to but it for him)

**Roxas- **Except for him,...

**Axel- **(videotaping on phone stolen from Riku) Hahaha, who knew this kid would be this much fun to follow around!

**Kairi- **Sora, you are making me buy an aweful lot of panda covered things! I'm not sure this is healthy. Maybe I should talk to Doc. About those pills he been... (notices everyone staring and screams) Oh My God! Its Riku From Kingdom Hearts!

**Riku Fangirls- **Oh my god-yay-love me-ahhh-i love you riku-don't forget me-let me at im-love you- hey there babydoll (notices this as a fanboy) Riku-Riku-riku-Riku-Riiiiikkkkkuuuuuu!

**Riku- **(running towards Maleficent) Mommy! (hugs her...lol had to throw that in cause in kh1 she compared him to a son)

**Maleficent- **(Stroking Rikus silky silver hair) My child...

**Sora- **(goes all ultimate keyblade warrior slices Maleficents head off) hehehe

**Riku- **Mommy! (has short tantrum then wipes himself down and goes all normal again)

**Everyone in room- **(staring...)

**Axel- **Wow, this thing is really worth it, I just burned someone on their own phone! ( fist pumps into air dramatically)

**Roxas- **I could've done that...

**Namine- **Of course you could have! Now get me Riku's phone **Smiles evily**

**Roxas- …**

**Namine- ****still smiling evily while dancing in little circle to dramatic music playing in back round**

**Roxas- **...fine...Hey Axel Toast! (calls to Axel)

**Alex**- Yay(runs towards bread dropping Riku's phone)

**Roxas**- (picks up phone,pockets it and follows axel)

**Axel**- (Burning unfortunate piece of toast) Burn toast burn!

**Roxas**- …

At toy store buying Sora a moogle plush(yayah!)

**Sora- **…There all so cute! (staring at wall filled with moogle plushes of all kinds)

**Kairi- **Take your pick Sora!

**Axel- **I personally would buy a Tonberry. (said with no emotion but an excited look in eyes, almost hopeful kairi will offer to but him one or everyone leaves long enough for him to buy his own, checks off in mental check list

_Axels mental checklist-_

_Make brownies.-check_

_Eat Sora's panda covered Ramen-_

_Re-gel hair-Check_

_Go to doctor and check out his supposed **overly tall disorder **Zexion says I have-check(not a real disorder hmmm liar)_

_Re-gel hair-check_

_Buy Tonberry moogle plush-_

_Re-gel hair-_

**Roxas- **I would buy a chochobo (I need to buy one of those things!

**Namine- **I will buy you one if you steal Axels top secret check list and tell me how many times he gels a day... (whispering to Roxas)

**Roxas- **nods.

**Riku- **I would but a mog, they are really really cute...like sooo cute they could rule the world, I mean who wouldn't want one of the cute adorable friends to talk to and tell your everyday secrets to... (backs away slowly and goes back to normal after random outburst) hehheh...heh (Who wouldn't get stuck with a random outburst when seeing these cute things-A/N)

**Zexion- **(popping up out of nowhere) Buy the Nono, its a bunny,hehehe (Disappears in a vision of a bird beating a teddy bear with an Ax-hehehe my mom drew this in a story room on isketch about 3 min ago-so funny A/N)

**Simon Cal- **I have to say, that was horrible, just horrible...where am I?(pops up while he was actually talking to some horrific guy in auditions for american Idol while they were still worth watching, the only good part of them now is stephen tyler)

**Everyone- **…

**_The end_**

**Sora ends up buying a mog cause they are adoribles! Yeah I said it-adoribles. But yah, I love moogles and teddy bears getting beaten with an ax by a big red bird!hehehe, by the way, I leared a valuable lesson here today. I must not be that suckish a crack writer cause even I was laughing!**


	2. Bad Teachers and Mean Cheerleaders!

**Okaydokay here I goes with the chappie 2**

**Beware of Roxas's murderous cheerleading skills! Hehehe**

At Somerandomplace highschool in somerandomplace Utah 7:00-school entry 7:30

Story line- They wanted to go to school for a day...in Utah I guess(i didn't even know Utah existed until in fourth grade when we sang the nifty fifty united states song)

**Roxas- **Axel, why the hell did you want to go to school? (twitching nervously)

**Axel- **Don't ask me. (smiling)

**Riku- **It's not right to curse, it's mean and un-needed. (muttering something about a potty-mouth and soap while flipping hair...about 10 seconds later trying to revive himself by twitching into manly positions and frowning.)

**Axel- **Whoa boy, don't go all psycho on us...hahaha (laughing randomly like any soulless ginger would)

**Sora- **(hiding behind Kairi) What if I get hungry and see there is no food, then do I get to eat someone?

**Kairi- **Uh...no Sora it's not nice to eat people!

**Sora- **(frowns in her direction and shuffles up the steps with the others)

In first period language arts are Roxas-Axel-Sora-Kairi-Riku-Namine- and the teacher is...

Light Yagami from death note...don't question the logic of it...there is none I just like light.

**Axel- **sooo, Yagami why do you look at your computer that write randomly in that weird notebook?

**- **It is my way of life...like leading a secret organization looking for Kira for hours on end trying to make me a one week teacher that searches for Kira in a school district since he was supposed to be around that age, though they will never find him because he is already graduated and right in there... (shifts in chair uncomfortably) Class dismissed!

**Axel- **wow.

**Riku- **That is odd...

Second period gym is Namine, Roxas, Yuffie, and the teachers are Aerith and Leon,hehehe he will be totally out of character

**Namine- **Sooo, Roxas...did you get the checklist?

**Roxas**- Yup, its right here (hands her the notebook filled with both drawings of fire, unicorns and unicorns on fire and of course checklists)

**Namine- ** Very good, I have another request though, I... well I want to try out foor cheerleading but I don't want to do it alone...(gets over shyness and does what she seems to be best at **smiles evilly*

**Roxas**- …

**Namine**- **smiles evilly while pointing at him and tilting her head**

**Roxas**- ...eek

**Namine**- **still smiling evilly while adding a psychotic glint to her eyes making it hard not to think of her her as a psychotic brunette while pointing to her, tilting her head and of sourse still smiling evilly**

**Roxas**- ...urrr

**Namine**- (Changing suit) Don't you care about my feelings Roxas. I thought you of all people would want to help me, but no! (uses girly tears about to walk away. As she starts walking she gets to smile **evilly** again but hides when facing him) What!

**Roxas**- I will try out for cheerleading with you if you never cry again...

**Namine**- (Hugs him and pulls him towards where all of the people stand while the coach talks)

**Leon**- Okay, now this is the first question, how many of you are guys and are going to try out for cheerleading (only Roxas raises hand) okay you sissy, go over there with the cheer coach Aerith and all of you girls go over there too.

**Yuffie- **You sexist pig, what about the girls who don't want to be a cheerleader?

**Leon- **your gonna try out no matter what!

**Yuffie**- (stares disgustedly and walks toward Aerith)

**Aerith**-Okay ladies...and gentlemen I want you to pair up with the person to the left of you (Roxas was standing next to the left of Yuffie)

**Roxas**- great I am paired up with the ninja...i wonder if I can put hyou to tears by being super annoying

**Yuffie**- I'm not going to be put to tears by bad cheering and annoyingness!

**Roxas**- You asked for it (gets ready to cheer)

Cheer 1-

If I can make-

Yuffie Yuffie Yuffie cry-

Would I?-clap clap

Would I?- clap clap

Would I?-clap clap

Yes I would, cause I'm gonna tell you why-

If I can make Yuffie Yuffie cry-

You owe me-yeah yeah-you owe me-

Some sea...Salt...Ice...CREAM-YAAAY (claps hand together loudly- Yuffie status flinches slightly but is unmarked)

Cheer 2-

Don't tell me-no no- don't ell me

That I can't beat er-yo yo- I can't beat her

Cause everybody know- that all that goes to show-

Is that i- yeah yeah- that I can do it- I I – can do it Yaaay (jumps around Yuffie status- slightly twitching

Cheer 3

Yuffie is frowning- clap clap – yeah yuffie is frowning

Yuffie is twitching-clap clap- yeah Yuffie is twitching

Yuffie is wincing- Clap clap -Yeah Yuffie is Wincing

Yuffie is purple- Clap clap – yeah yuffie is purple

Yuffie is hyperventalating -clap clap- yeah Yuffie is hyperventalating

Yuffie is frowning -clap clap- yeah yuffie is frowning YAY, go team VIII Yuffie status-well, you know that...)

Cheer 4

Don't tell me what to do-clap clap

Don't tell me what to do no no

Cause I will beat you-clap clap

Yes I will beat you-clap clap

Don't make me **bleep** you-no no

don't make me **bleep** you

Cause I will sooo beat you (bitchy look and a good ald fashioned cheerleader worthy hair flip) Yuffie status- biting nail and whimpering

Cheer 5- the final showdown-

Hey- Ho how do ya do-

I wanna have a little chat with you

Its starts like this- does little sassy girl finger snapping thing-

Then goes like this-hair flip

Then end with this-sticks out tongue while flipping her off-YAAAAY Meeee

Yuffie status-Tears-sad little ninja tears as she runs away very fast Roxas finished with another hair flip and walks to Namine)

**Axel- **(walks over and saw everything cause he was checking out the girls in a free period) Woooow, I never thought you to be soo... expressive? (starts laughing obnoxiously)

**Roxus**- shut up, Namine did I look that stupid, cause I felt stupid?

**Namine**- Of course you did silly! But I am soooo happy you did that, now I Riku's phone and have two kingdom hearts charaters being burned... nope three, I almost forgot I got sora on here too!

**Roxus**- I... did you use me for money?

**Namine**- I guess you could say that, but you get half the cost. (innocent smile)

**Roxas**- Weeell I guess... (shuffles towards next class with Namine)

free period- period 3 Sora-Roxas-Axel(again somehow)-Kairi- and a secret special character that will pop up. Library

**Passing notes- I made this special so I know if you are paying ateention- Sora- Roxas**** -**_Kairi-_xel_-__super secret guy_

Sora- Why are we passing notes?

_Kairi- Because we are supposed to be being quiet._

xel- Yeah idiot...Sor is n oficil idiot

_Kairi- Don't be mean xel_

**Roxas-its not mean if its true...**

_Roxas, that is just not right!_

Well sure it is Kiri, don't you like us telling the truth of our minds?

_Not if its not nice!_

Not everyones will lways be nice person.

**True**

I know right, mn, I don't even know why I wanted to come here!

**I don't know either**

I think its cause Axel never thinks...

I so do think you little rtmn, I m so going to kill your sorry ss!

_Sora is right, and what does he have to do with rats?_

I hve no clue t all.

_You shouldn't curse either, its not very reasonable..._

Who re you? Riku? Or s I like to cll him queerku (I couldn't really get anything out of Riku sooo...by the way, not wanting to offend anyone)

_that is not nice, you shouldn't be so mean to him, I think the whole girliness is just an act..._

**act schmact, the guy is straight as a circle I feel uncomfortable just being next to him!**

greed mn there is something very wrong with him, he is like the epitome of the gy mn

**He lead the gay mans club**

Totlly Mn...

He is not, Riku is awesome, I like him just the way he is!

**Of course you do Dora!**

Dor dor dor the explro, something something dor dor

**What will Dora be explorin today?**

How to be mn mybe?

_You guys are so mean..._

_Zexion- __Would you guys shut up some people actually try reading up here!_

Zexion, Why re you here I thought you died?

_Enabyss wanted me back for her fanfic, so here I am._

_You can just make someone alive?_

**Who is Enabyss?**

_Crap, leave now!_

We cn't relly leve, Cuse we re kindof in this clss...nd we lredy re shut up, tht is why we re choosing to pss notes, sooo, you cn probably just ignore us...

_When did you become the reasonable one?_

Don't sk me, you just ren't doing your job...

**How do you like it, should school be over? I think school should be lit on fire leading to it burning down... I wonder who set it on fire...hmmm **sarcastically in thought** Axel! R&R**


	3. Vodka and bad videos

**Okay, THIS IS IMPORTANT: if you read my last chapter in confusion that is because it was being annoying. Everything Axel said with an a in it was supposed to be marked by the "At" symbol you use in email! I'm going to make you all work by filling in the blanks! R&R, beware this is frekin nastiness when Xigbars songs comes up, don't say I didn't warn you!**

12:32- everyone in school leaving because of mysterious fire caused in the gym (only a couple people notice both that the flames when looked at correctly are shaped like Axel's face and he is laughing in a very maniac-like way) They are now back with the other organization VIII members, while sora riku and namine and kairi...aren't.

Roxas- umm, uhmm... xigbar im gonna kill you-

kill you kill you kill you-

cause you killed me-

die xigbar die! YaaaaY for meeee!

(showing off his amazing cheer skills to the organizaton.)

Xigbar-(glares)

Axel- Ha, you look like a penguin...in a not way, but oh well...penguin man! (to Xigbar)

Demyx- hi guys, I bought thas great stuff! They call it Vodca! Oh wait no Vodka! ( walks in holding bottle) It looks just like water but it tastes like fire! Axel try some. (pours glass for Axel excitedly)

Axel- (raises eyebrow) I doubt it tastes like fire, fire burns...(takes sip, tears well up in eyes)

Roxas- Axel is crying-clap clap

Yeah Axel is cring yeah yeah

Axel is crying...wait, why is Axel crying! (takes bottle from Demyx and takes a swig, starts choking)

Demyx- its supposed to be the best since it was imported and made in Russia ( smiles at the others giving everyone glasses)

everyone- (choking noises, tears and yelps)

About four bottles later...

Roxas- Yeah everybodies heard about the bird! Abodda bird bird bird biiiiiiirrrdd is tha wooooooorrd!(running around room like airplane)

Axel- Are you talking to me? I said are you talking to me?( in jersey mob boss accent while choking a coat rack)

Marluxia- Myyyyyyyy, milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and there like its better than yours, damn right its better than yoooooooouuuuurrrrsss! (singing while dancing in michael jackson-like fashion)

Axel- I will eat your sammich, if you put bananas on it, for bananas rule the wooorld (patriotic voice, while flag waves in backround)

Demyx- Oi am a bonaaaanaaa!

Xigbar- Don't let me down, don't let meeee doooowwnn...( singing to a pot with a ladel mike)

Larxene- I am going to tell the truth... I love pink! (cry out through window)

Zexion- I'm dark and sensetive with low self asteem, the way I dress makes everyday look like halloween; I have no real problems but I like to make believe I stole my sisters mascara now im grounded for a week, sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies, I can't get through a hawethorn hights album without sobbing, girls keep breaking up with me its never any fun, they say they already have a...( knocked out by Xigbars frying pan guitar flying across room)

Axel- its _FABULOUS_! (speaking like christian from Project Runway)

Roxas- Who says who says your not perfect... ( lets just sy, I never think selena gomez would ever sing this song again...ever)

Xigbar- My spoon is too big! (he exclaimed)

Everyone- ... (becomes completely silent and there is no movement.)

Xigbar- My spoon is too big!

Everyone- …

Xigbar- My spoon is too big!

Everyone- (walks out of room with the Vodka bottles)

In other room-

Axel- we need to do something exciting!

Roxas- I agree!

Axel- I've got it!

Everyone- (looks at Axel)

Marluxia- and what would that be Mr. Pyro porcupine? (With raised eyebrow)

Zexion- (decending out of his emo-boy sleep, walks in glaring) Where is Xigbar?

Everyone- Points to room they abandoned him in.

A few seconds later of silence...

Xigbar- Ahhhhhhhhhh

Zexion- I can destroy you with this information, I would be worried if I were you.

Xigbar- not the Video!

Zexion- of course the video. I never thought there was anything more disturbing than you talking, but your music video... it is the most disturbing thing ever created. (randomly claps hands, all televisions turn on- reading:

Xigbars reapairs- I believe in a thing called love( the darkness)

"Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel (**Xigbar descends from kitty pool placed in his bedroom, which was now lined in pink blankets and curtains on everything while he had a blonde wig on and was nude except for a computer inserted star placed on one part of his body. Add to this way too much pink makeup and a pink sparkly Hannah Montana hat.**)  
>My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel. ( <strong>walking into arms of stuffed bear<strong> )

Touching you, touching me ( **touching the bear inappropriately and making its arms touch him** )  
>Touching you, cause you're touching me( <strong>the same<strong> )

I believe in a thing called love ( **now gladly dressed in pink Elvis garb as he sang:** )  
>Just listen to the rhythm of my heart( <strong>beating his chest<strong> )  
>There's a chance we could make it now<br>We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down( **strumming Demyx's sitar:Demyx has shocked look **)  
>I believe in a thing called love<br>Ooh! Huh!

I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day ( **dancing inappropriately** )  
>You got me in a spin but everything is "A" O.K! ( <strong>winks<strong> )

Touching you, touching me ( **same bear thing** )  
>Touching you cause you're touching me<p>

I believe in a thing called love ( **dressed in pink tracksuit with sparkly word on the back stating that he's a curves girl** )  
>Just listen to the rhythm of my heart<br>There's a chance we could make it now  
>We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down<br>I believe in a thing called love  
>Ooh! Guitar! ( <strong>attempts playing sitar then gives up and goes "Air guitar" more like air Sitar<strong> )

Touching you, touching me( **same bear moment with some kissing** )  
>Touching you, cause you're touching me, ooow<p>

I believe in a thing called love( **dressed in pink robe laying across what looked like pile of pink pillows** )  
>Just listen to the rhythm of my heart<br>There's a chance we could make it now  
>We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down<br>I believe in a thing called love  
>Ooh! ( <strong>opens robe <strong>)

**(AN: I warned you, it would be bad)**

Axel- twitching

Marluxia- looking uncomfortable

Demyx- staring at his sitar in horror than bursting into tears)

Roxas- Ewww

Larxene- Marluxia, wasn't that your clothing? 


	4. Fangirls and Treasures!

**okie dokie, this is my new chappie, it is gonna be great and again disturbing, and PANDAS! Yay for disturbing!' and MEEEE...and JacindaWeire (she made me say that)**

Sora and Riku looking for supposed buried treasure...says Sora. Hmmm

Riku- do you even know where it is or are we just going around in circles. This is hurting my feet!

Sora- I know its here somewhere...maybe later i'll give you a foot massage...

Riku- Okay! (excitedly)

Sora- Where is Kairi?

Riku- I don't know, we always lose her, can't we just forget about her for a moment? (pouts)

Sora- I guess...

Riku- These pant are to puffy, I feel like Aladin!

Sora- I met him! Hehehe

Riku- ...and what happened then? (suspiciously)

Sora- (confused) I saved Jasmine...

Riku- How many people do you "spend time" with? (upsetedly stomping off)

Sora- Whats his problem?

Found spot of treasure...Yay...

Sora- Yay, I wonder whats in it!

Opens trunk- clear bottles of (what appears to be in Sora's childish and confused brain)water sat in trunk piled high

Sora- wow, who gets excited over water?( sees postcard with dancing pandas in chest and gets excited) Yay! Pandas.

Riku's part of this-

Riku- Why doesn't he notice me?

(Group of fangirls hiding as bushes sat and stared at him without his notice)

EnAbyss- (fangirl leader) CHARGE! (pointing towards Riku as Girls drop bushes)

Riku-(confused)

EnAbyss- I said charge you idiots, don't just stand there...or I will eat Riku's ARM!(Girls run at Riku in terror for his loss of muscley arm)

Fangirls- Riku we love you (while stealing parts of his clothes)

EnAbyss- (watching fangirls while sipping tea)

Fangirl 27- Oh My God, its a WIG (stares in horror at Riku's fake hair...then at his real luscious pink hair)

Riku- (covering head)

Fangirls- Noooooo (whimpering)

EnAbyss- SHIT!

Namine- (pops up randomly and lays disk next to Riku and whispers to everyone) He's Marluxia's love child...

Fangirls- Ewwww

EnAbyss- YAY, Marly and Riku related it's a Marly and Riku fangirls dream come true! (claps hands excitedly)

Riku- (Takes out spare wig)

Fangirls- Ooh, Ahhh (instantly calm)

EnAbyss- I liked the pink but okay... now that you are under my control (snaps fingers at fangirl number 11 to put pink studded collar with leash on Riku) (snaps fingers again for fangirl number 14 to bring him forwards) Good, now...( Snaps at number 20 to bring the disk Namine left beside him and to number 5 to bring forwards the HP laptop) Very good (puts disk in, Watches)

Video-

Namine- Riku, I would like to inform you that I am in need of a video of Kairi watching the last American Idol episode of this year, I heard she went crazy when Scotty won.

Outside of video-

Riku- …

Video-

Namine- (Evil smile)

Outside of video-

Riku- …

Video-

Namine- (Evil smile while sticking tongue out then bringing it back in like a lizard)

outside of...lets just call it the OOV

OOV-

Riku- …

Video-

Namine- (evil smile while laughing evil and doing that same tongue thing again...)

OOV-

EnAbyss-... (looks at Riku)

Riku- (shrugs)

Video-

Namine- Get it to me as soon as possible, if you don't I'll sic Roxas's Samuris on you. (Smiles sweetly) (Video blows up the laptop and itself)

OOV-

EnAbyss- I just bought that...dammit.

Fangirl 29-Er...didn't you steal Jacinda's money to buy that?

EnAbyss- Shut up 29, you're a number you don't matter.

Demyx- (randomly pops up) hey, don't diss us numbers, I'm a number too!

EnAbyss- That's your problem, the fangirls don't matter, tell me the name of one of your fangirls.

Demyx-...

EnAbyss- Exactly.

Demyx- (disappears)

Riku- Will you let me go?

EnAbyss- Only if you will tell everyone this statement (whispers statement in ear)

Riku- …

EnAbyss- just say it!

Riku- Every fanfiction reader one and all read JacindaWeire's Kingdom Hearts The Book of Retribution, a parody made by... JacindaWeire...didn't I already say that?

EnAbyss- Shut up foo!

Riku- Your not black...

EnAbyss- Shut yo mouth foo!

Riku-... your still not black...

EnAbyss- Ima yo


	5. Lets Beat Dem Dem

**The next amazing chappie. Be proud minions,be proud. I was watching Employee of the month, so I had an urge to write another chapter. There will even be more Xigbar music videos! Yay!**

**Here I go...**

The grocery store...again.

Sora- Hmmm, do you want the big ones or the little ones. Which will fit you better? (holds up package to Riku)

Riku- the big ones.

Sora- it is really big.(looks down)

Riku- I know right? (stares at Sora)

Axel- ugh. My head hurts! What is called for in the freakin recipe!

Roxas- (widens eyes while holding head) Tomato, egg...

Axel- (puking on linoleum floor) what is the point? I need death!

Roxas- (Tears streaming down face) My head huuuuurts! ( starts crying like infant)

Axel- (pats Roxas's head weakly) hey isn't that Sora...or is it not I can't tell!

Roxas- no that's some old lady...

Sora- (walks over waving hello) Hi guys!

Axel- Stop yelling! (still holding head)

Roxas- I can't take it! (both guys start crying like teenage girls in each others arms)

Sora- And they think I am gay... (scratches head)

Riku- whoa, I think I just entered a separate dimension, yaoi world yay! (looks around him)... ummm, I mean ahhh, yaoi world, boo!

Sora- (giggles)

Roxas- stop that racket! (sounding like old man)

Sora- whats wrong with you two?

Roxas- Demyx is mean and brings in bad substances into our home! (crying)

Later on with the rest of the organization-

Demyx- are you guys really going to hit me with baseball bats while I'm tied up? I can't even dodge!

Xigbar- we know

Axel- why do you think your tied up?

Roxas- you are going down!

Marluxia- I still have marshmallows in my mouth from playing chubby bunny!

Larxene- and everyone keeps sending me pink presents! Plus we all had to see Marluxia sing!

Marluxia- hey! My singing isn't that bad! I think Paula Abdule would be proud!(Whimpers)

Random rapist-(walks in) of course she would honey, of course she would.(says in creepy comforting voice while taking Marly in his arms

Xigbar- Hey, I'm the only creeper in this town, and I wont let you take my role!

RR- don't judge!(runs off)

Xigbar- Now that that's covered...(randomly starts doing the Cha cha) O' kukuracha o' kukuracha

Everyone- (stares and walks off into other room)

Axel- Now for the BEATING (said in a surprisingly good ring match commander person voice)

Everyone(including Xigbar)- Yay! (grabs there baseball bats)

Roxas- Hey batta batta swiiiing! (hitting Demyx in a very uncomfortable place) Yay!

Demyx- 

Narrator- And as everyone beats and beats the Melodious Nocturne much else is occurring at what has many names like wally-world, Walmart, or that cheap store with nameless clothes. Luxord and Xexion, who are for some reason together happen to be dressed quite oddly for such an event. How they are dressed and why they are dressed like that you will just have to find out. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

**This was a filler chapter, another will be up asap, don't worry young peoples I will keep writing. Don't cry! Oh I dont think I done this yet sooo I guess I technically should...even though I don't want to...at all. I do not own any of the organization or sora...or riku...or kairi, or namine, or...this is torture square enix owns pretty much everything except for maleficent, moogles and the plot...if there were one, oh well all I own is the plot.**


	6. Drag, Twilight, and Pie nomnomnom

**Next chappie up, love me! Aren't I amazing. By the way, in the last chapter I made in the beginning it has riku and sora talking to each other. They weren't doing anything too dirty, the whole time they were talking about a cut given to him while the fangirls were attacking. Yup it was meant to sound wrong...soooo. Next chap- Here we goooooooo-**

Xexion- why am I with you? (fixing halter top)

Luxord- were under cover (fluffing up hair)

Xexion- well then answer this, why am I with you dressed like this? (points to hot pink halter top with the word Angel written in sparkly letters across the chest. A pair of skinny jeans and tall pink go go boots. To add he wore a red haired wig with a pink head band on top and bright pink makeup)

Luxord- its all part of character

Xexion- well... (points to Luxord with his sparkly bright blue very tight tank top leading into a denim mini(and I mean mini) skirt and a pair a bright red (very tall) pumps, to add to that were his Gucci sunglasses, bright red lipstick blue eyeshadow and a blonde wig, how he got rid of the beard so fast he didn't know.)

Luxord- I know it looks bad but we have to look like this if were going to buy the shirtless Jacob poster from Newmoon. (smiles in memory of the gorgeous tanned skin of Taylor Lautner)

Xexion- personally I'm team Edward.(remembers the sparkly snow, white skin) hmmmmmm (sighing like teenage fan girl)

Luxord-(horrified look) shun!

Xexion- think about, vampires are sooooo much more romantic!(sighs again)

Luxord- but think, imagine running with the wolves, there sooo soft and warm (sighs)

Xexion- yes but cold and sparkly is sooo much more sex...is that Sora? (terrified look)

Luxord- hmmm it seems so (scratches beard that no longer exists)

Sora- hey there, did you ladies feel it? (winks and puts on flirtatious smile)

Luxord- (nudges Xexion) just go with it (whispers)

Xexion- Feel what? (in dead on girly voice)

Sora- when you two fell from heaven of course

Both "Girls"- (giggle)

Sora- well I'm Sora (lifts Xexion's hand to lips) and what might your names be? Beauty and Angel?

Luxord- I'm ummm Luxi and this is...ummm Xexi!

Xexion...Xexi- (raises eyebrows)

Luxi- (raises shoulders)

Sora- well, they are some of the most beautiful names I have EVER heard! (raises eyebrows) So how about all of us double with my friend (smiles casually)

Luxi- Sure, sounds great!

Xexi- ummm, don't we have **.do. **Luxi?

Luxi- of course we don't Xexi! (smiles to Sora)

Sora- Well meet me at the cafe over there in ten?

Luxi- We'll see you there (waves flirtatiously goodbye)

-Waits for Sora to leave-

Xexion- You idiot why did you say yes!

Luxord- I was keeping character unlike _someone_!

Xexion- I was keeping perfect character, wait till the superior finds out about this!

Luxord- (thinks)You get his friend

Xexion- good, cause we all know Sora is so gay its _Fabulous_! (in perfect christian/project runway voice)

Luxord- well we had better get the poster.

-goes and buys Jacob poster while Xexion gets Edward-

Xexion- we had better go for our ummm...date(shudders)

-walks over to cafe- Sora waves them over to table in back-

Sora- Dude we need to find you a chick

Sora's friend- I don't need your help, I'm waiting for Namine to love me (sighs dreamily)

-both guys look at each other curiously but walk over to table-

Sora- Hello ladies! (smiles) this is my friend Roxas (points to Roxas)

Roxas- (rolling on floor laughing)

Sora- Your being rude Roxas!

Roxas- I can't-hahaha-go on a -hehehehaheha- date -hahahaha- with either -hahahaha -of them -hahahaha (pointing to them)

Sora- well your not going with either of them, you get Xexi!

Roxas- Xexi-hahahahaha- hi -hahaha-Xexi (bursts out laughing again)

Xexi- Well your just being rude! (in girl voice) Luxi lets just take the posters and go (stares Luxord down)

Luxi- oh so now since you get the bad date I lose mine (pouts)

Roxas- wait you have posters, let me see!

Xexi- (horrified look)

Roxas- (grabs each "girls" poster opens them up and cracks up)

Sora- that is rude, you can't just grab anything you want

Roxas- (whispers in Sora's ear)

Sora-(horrified look) but...

Luxord- Awww crap (pulls off blonde wig)

Xexion- Blimy Harry! (everyone stares- he pouts and pulls off wig) No one wanted to watch Harry Potter with me (pouts)

Sora- (sympathetic look)

Luxord- thaaaat piece of crap, how much more gay can you get?

Xexion- Sweeney, you may now take him! (Sweeney Todd and his creepy lady friend Mrs. Lovett comes out singing A Little Priest)

Luxord- ummm, don't they umm? Aren't they ummm... (scared look)

Xexion- Make humans into pie, yes, so what?

Luxord- would they ummm make me into anything?

Mrs. Lovett- of course, if only I weren't thrown into a fire a would be a bit more capable but... I'll work it out (smiles creepily)

Sweeney- I apologize for that my love

Lovett- course you do love!

Luxord- aren't you offended by Harry Potter though, it ruins Britain's image!

Lovett- Harry Potter doesn't change the fact that you will make a wonderful mince meat pie...ma'am?

Luxord- Don't ask...

-Sweeney and Lovett take Luxord toward a random pie shop at the end of the road-

Roxas- Guess what Xexion,

Xexion- what?

Roxas- (smirk) Harry dies

Xexion- (shocked look) … (falls over and faints on random fainting couch that was not there until now)

Sweeney and Lovett- Oooh more meat! (takes Xexion)

**How do you like it? Oh and Roxas wasn't lying Harry does die in the 7th movie 2nd part! If you haven't seen it and or read it don't you officially hate me now, Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I win. Of and look up A Little Priest from Sweeney Todd to find out that the whole song is talking about making humans into mince meat pie. Good movie, you should watch it, if you haven't already. **

**Ummm, I'm going to put up the lyrics to that song in case your being to lazy to actually look up the song so here it is-**

**MRS. LOVETT:  
>Seems a downright shame...<br>TODD: Shame?  
>LOVETT:<br>Seems an awful waste...  
>Such a nice, plump frame<br>Wot's 'is name has...  
>Had...<br>Has!  
>Nor it can't be traced...<br>Bus'ness needs a lift,  
>Debts to be erased...<br>Think of it as thrift,  
>As a gift,<br>If you get my drift!**

**No?**

**Seems an awful waste...  
>I mean, with the price of meat<br>What it is,  
>When you get it,<br>If you get it...**

**TODD: HAH!  
>LOVETT:<br>Good, you got it!**

**Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!  
>Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!<br>And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!  
>And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!<strong>

**[Simultaneously]**

**TODD:  
>Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion<br>LOVETT:  
>Well, it does seem a waste...<strong>

**TODD:  
>Eminently practical<br>And yet appropriate as always!  
>LOVETT:<br>It's an idea...**

**TODD:  
>Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived<br>Without you all these years, I'll never know!  
>How delectable!<br>Also undetectable!  
>LOVETT:<br>Think about it!  
>Lots of other gentlemen'll<br>Soon be comin' for a shave,  
>Won't they?<br>Think of  
>All them<br>Pies!**

**TODD:  
>How choice!<strong>

**How  
>Rare!<strong>

**TODD:  
>For what's the sound of the world out there?<br>LOVETT:  
>What, Mr. Todd?<br>What, Mr. Todd?  
>What is that sound?<br>TODD:  
>Those crunching noises pervading the air!<br>LOVETT:  
>Yes, Mr. Todd!<br>Yes, Mr. Todd!  
>Yes, all around!<br>TODD:  
>It's man devouring man, my dear!<br>BOTH:  
>And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here?<strong>

**TODD: (spoken) These are desperate times,  
>Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!<br>LOVETT: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!  
>TODD: What is that?<strong>

**LOVETT:  
>It's priest. Have a little priest.<br>TODD:  
>Is it really good?<br>LOVETT:  
>Sir, it's too good, at least!<br>Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,  
>So it's pretty fresh.<br>TODD:  
>Awful lot of fat.<br>LOVETT:  
>Only where it sat.<br>TODD:  
>Haven't you got poet, or something like that?<br>LOVETT:  
>No, y'see, the trouble with poet is<br>'Ow do you know it's deceased?  
>Try the priest!<strong>

**TODD: (spoken) Heavenly!  
>Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps,<br>but then again, not as bland as curate, either!**

**LOVETT:  
>And good for business, too - always leaves you wantin' more!<br>Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!**

**Lawyer's rather nice.  
>TODD:<br>If it's for a price.  
>LOVETT:<br>Order something else, though, to follow,  
>Since no one should swallow it twice!<br>TODD:  
>Anything that's lean.<br>LOVETT:  
>Well, then, if you're British and loyal,<br>You might enjoy Royal Marine!  
>Anyway, it's clean.<br>Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!  
>TODD:<br>Is that squire,  
>On the fire?<br>LOVETT:  
>Mercy no, sir, look closer,<br>You'll notice it's grocer!  
>TODD:<br>Looks thicker,  
>More like vicar!<br>LOVETT:  
>No, it has to be grocer -<br>It's green!**

**TODD:  
>The history of the world, my love -<br>LOVETT:  
>Save a lot of graves,<br>Do a lot of relatives favors!  
>TODD:<br>Is those below serving those up above!  
>LOVETT:<br>Ev'rybody shaves,  
>So there should be plenty of flavors!<br>TODD:  
>How gratifying for once to know<br>BOTH:  
>That those above will serve those down below!<strong>

**LOVETT: (spoken) Now let's see, here... We've got tinker.  
>TODD: Something... pinker.<br>LOVETT: Tailor?  
>TODD: Paler.<br>LOVETT: Butler?  
>TODD: Subtler.<br>LOVETT: Potter?  
>TODD: Hotter.<br>LOVETT: Locksmith?**

**Lovely bit of clerk.  
>TODD:<br>Maybe for a lark.  
>LOVETT:<br>Then again there's sweep  
>If you want it cheap<br>And you like it dark!  
>Try the financier,<br>Peak of his career!  
>TODD:<br>That looks pretty rank.  
>LOVETT:<br>Well, he drank,  
>It's a bank<br>Cashier.  
>Never really sold.<br>Maybe it was old.  
>TODD:<br>Have you any Beadle?  
>LOVETT:<br>Next week, so I'm told!  
>Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and<br>Notice 'ow well it's been greased...  
>Stick to priest!<strong>

**(spoken) Now then, this might be a little bit stringy,  
>but then of course it's... fiddle player!<br>TODD: No, this isn't fiddle player - it's piccolo player!  
>LOVETT: 'Ow can you tell?<br>TODD: It's piping hot!  
>LOVETT: Then blow on it first!<strong>

**TODD:  
>The history of the world, my sweet -<br>LOVETT:  
>Oh, Mr. Todd,<br>Ooh, Mr. Todd,  
>What does it tell?<br>TODD:  
>Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!<br>LOVETT:  
>And, Mr. Todd,<br>Too, Mr. Todd,  
>Who gets to sell!<br>TODD:  
>But fortunately, it's also clear<br>BOTH:  
>That [L: But] ev'rybody goes down well with beer!<strong>

**LOVETT: (spoken)  
>Since marine doesn't appeal to you, 'ow about... rear admiral?<br>TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.  
>LOVETT: With, or without his privates? "With" is extra.<strong>

**TODD: What is that?  
>LOVETT:<br>It's fop.  
>Finest in the shop.<br>And we have some shepherd's pie peppered  
>With actual shepherd on top!<br>And I've just begun -  
>Here's the politician, so oily<br>It's served with a doily,  
>Have one!<br>TODD:  
>Put it on a bun.<br>Well, you never know if it's going to run!  
>LOVETT:<br>Try the friar,  
>Fried, it's drier!<br>TODD:  
>No, the clergy is really<br>Too coarse and too mealy!  
>LOVETT:<br>Then actor,  
>That's compacter!<br>TODD:  
>Yes, and always arrives overdone!<br>I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu!**

**LOVETT: (spoken) Wait! True, we don't have judge yet,  
>but we've got something you might fancy even better.<br>TODD: What's that?  
>LOVETT: Executioner!<strong>

**TODD:  
>Have charity towards the world, my pet!<br>LOVETT:  
>Yes, yes, I know, my love!<br>TODD:  
>We'll take the customers that we can get!<br>LOVETT:  
>High-born and low, my love!<br>TODD:  
>We'll not discriminate great from small!<br>No, we'll serve anyone,  
>Meaning anyone,<br>BOTH:  
>And to anyone<br>At all! **

**Crap that was long!**


	7. Xigbar vids and Xexi Potter

**Another Xigbar music vid. This time its SexyBack by justin **

I'm bringin' sexy back (Yeah) (Him dressed in a stuffed bra and leather pants with a plastic toy ranger gun in the back of the bra and a blonde wig)  
>Them other boys don't know how to act!(Yeah) ( a whole bunch of fanboys staring at him)<br>I think you're special what's behind your back.(Yeah) (Xigbar takes gun out from the back of his bra and shoots at a fanboy who falls and dies dramatically)  
>So turn around and I'll pick up the slack!(Yeah) (smacks a fanboys butt)<br>(Take em' to the bridge!) (standing on bridge in his room not understanding what it actually meant)

Dirty babe...(Uh Huh) (smacks himself)  
>You see these shackles? Baby I'm your slave(Uh Huh)(choking coatrack with a pair of plastic dollar general handcuffs)<br>I'll let you whip me if I misbehave!(Uh Huh) (one of the fanboys whipped him)  
>It's just that no one makes me feel this way(Uh Huh) (hugging himself)<br>(Take em' to the chorus!)

Come here girl! (signals a fanboy over)  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Come to the back (smiles at him)  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>VIP! (points to red rope)  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Drinks on me (holding apple-juice- he no longer likes vodka)  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Let me see what you're torquing with (does weird eyebrow movement)  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Look at those hips! Fanboys shakes his hips like shakira)  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>You make me smile (all fanboys smile)  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Go head child! (rocking baby)  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<p>

Get your sexy on  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!) (8x)<p>

I'm bringin' sexy back (Yeah)  
>Them mother****ers dont' know how to act! (Yeah) (rolls eyebrows)<br>Girl let me make up for the things you lack. (Yeah) (signals another fanboy over with finger)  
>'Cause you're burnin' up I gotta get it past! (Yeah) flames shoot up in backround)<br>(Take em' to the bridge!)

Dirty babe...(Uh Huh) (fanboys rubs him in mud)  
>You see these shackles? Baby i'm your slave (Uh Huh)same choking moment)<br>I'll let you whip me if I misbehave!(Uh Huh) (same whipping moment ewww)  
>It's just that no one makes me feel this way(Uh Huh)<br>(Take em' to the chorus!)

Come here girl! (All the same)  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Come to the back  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>VIP!  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Drinks on me  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Let me see what you're torquing with  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Look at those hips!  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>You make me smile  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Go head child!  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<p>

Get your sexy on  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)(x8)<p>

You ready? ( flips blonde wig hair)  
>You ready? (points to bejeweled scar and winks)<br>You ready? (dances)

Uh (Yes)

I'm bringin' sexy back(Yeah)  
>You motha****ers watch how I attack(Yeah)<br>If that's your girl, better watch your back(Yeah)  
>'Cause she'll burn it up for me, and that's a fact(Yeah)<br>(Take em' to the chorus!)

Come here girl!  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Come to the back  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>VIP!  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Drinks on me  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Let me see what you're torquing with  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Look at those hips!  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>You make me smile  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<br>Go head child!  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!)<p>

Get your sexy on  
>(Go 'head be gone with it!) (8x)<p>

You ready? (Yes) (backround falls over)  
>You ready? (Yes) Wig falls off)<br>(Yes)  
>You ready? (Yes) (flames shoot up for no reason)<br>You ready? (the he she 'xigbar' runs to turn camera off.

Xigbar- hello anyone watching my video, I would like to thank everyone for watching this and tell me how much I remind them of justin timberla-

Larxene- (turns off computer) why did we watch that again! (horrified)

Xexi- I don't know! (scared)

Luxi- I don't think I will ever be able to see again (whimpers)

Axel- Ahhhhh it burns! (scratching at eyes)

Roxas- (unimpressed) why are you two still dressed like that? (looking at Xexion (AN don't yell at me for spelling ti like that I just like spelling it like that!) and luxord who are both still dressed as Xexi and Luxi)

Xexion- ummm

Luxord- well, Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett said if we dressed like this for the rest of the week we were allowed to not be turned into mince meat. If we go back to normal clothes they will make us into pie (scared look)

Xexion- I think we would make a good pie, don't you...Luxi? (snickers very out of character for him)

Luxord- I agree Xexi Potter! Hahaha

Axel- Larxene- Roxas- Xexion- and all the rest of the organization that weren't in the room and randomly showed up- (Stare) Shun, omgz, die evil person, I hate you, Hey did everyone know something super cool? Harry dies! (everyone makes shocked faces and starts sobbing randomly.)

Roxas- (snicker)

**So, who was inpossibly terrified by Xigbars video, that may have been worse than the first, tell me if ya think so. If your tramatised for life don't blame me...or sue me, I dont have any money!**


	8. Emo Boy Clubs and a Missing Sitar part 1

**This is chappi! tehe**

Demyx- (sobs)

Xigbar- stop crying you idiot (sorts items for his next music video)

Demyx- (sobs)

Xigbar- you've been crying all week and its been pausing my...work

Demyx- (sobs)

Xigbar- it's just a stupid freakin sitar!

Demyx- Legasp!

Xigbar- yeah I said it.

Demyx-...

Xigbar- what?

Demyx-...

Xigbar- what did I do?

Demyx-...

Xigbar- grrr

Demyx- ...(sobs)

Xigbar- ahhh- just get over yourself and get out of my room...area...hole...ummm...DIE!

Demyx- (runs away crying)

Xigbar- grrr

demon monkey that can talk and lives in Xigbar's bedroom...area...hole...ummm...DIE!- he will come to us soon master, I will make sure of it

Xigbar- make sure of it my pet, make sure of it.

demon monkey that can talk and lives in Xigbar's bedroom...area...hole...ummm...DIE!- so when are you doing your next video?

Xigbar- as soon as I get some peace and quiet, you know I can't do it without having my ritual first. A bubble bath to Madonna's Greatest Hits of the Century then stalk little ginger boys then read about all the yaoi pairings made out of organization members and then eat a whole batch of _special_ brownies (looks at monkey likes that's obvious)

demon monkey that can talk and lives in Xigbar's bedroom...area...hole...ummm...DIE!- of course master.

Skip

Demyx- (sobs) he-he hes right, I can only think of one way to fix this...i must sing!

Skip

Demyx- (making coffee- the coffee apocalypse is coming even Demyx is drinking it!) oooooh, coffee just brewed today made nasty little beans, makes a yummy Demyx treat, coffee life is gonna end, if you were to randomly disappear, coffee oooooh, put a shock into my heart when sipped from the very start, coffee you'll be the end of me cause you make me hyper (starts sobbing) (AN song sung to the tune of bohemian rhapsody by queen)

Roxas- why is Demyx crying? Oh no, I'm going to be late! (runs out door with black bag)

Axel- hmmm wonder where he's going? (randomly poofs into a baby blue dress with a white apron,stockings,and a bow)

Roxas- (screaming randomly) I'm late I'm late for a very important date!

Axel- why am I wearing a dress?

Skip

Demyx- (doing laundry) dawn let me down, dawn let me down, dawn let me down,dawn let me down nobody ever like to use the powder-no they don't, noooo they don't,and if somebody ever tried to use,yeah they tried to use,iii if theeey dooo,dawn let me down, dawn let me down made use it, yeah made me use it, that nasty powder is washing my clothes yeah it is...(sobs AN sung to across the universe version of Don't Let Me Down)

Xexion- (lowers like vampire bat from ceiling) I'm trying to read in my crypt...coffin...keep...sanctuary...ummm...DIE! And shut up while your at it.

(a portal opens and out comes a soulless ginger named JacindaWeire)

JacindaWeire- OH MY GOD- it's ZEXY-the-SEXY (fangirl swoon onto fainting couch and disappears randomly)

Demyx-...but my sitars gone! (sobs)

Xexion- So you lost your sitar and you can't find it?

Demyx- no she left me for some stupid cat the author wanted to put into the story named simba!

Xexion- the one from the pride lands?

Demyx- no her house cat she's wants to be a movie star.

Xexion- but there's a simba in the pride lands maybe its him...

Demyx- its not this cat is waaay too fat, he's like a 50 pound house cat!

Xexion- hmm so your sitar left you for a house cat named after simba from the pride lands?

Demyx- she was my best friend and my first love. I remember our first date.

Xexion- hmmm, you brought it on a date with a girl hoping it would make you look cooler...

Demyx- HER, and no it was OUR first date, together,as boyfriend and girlfriend. We were dating!

Xexion-...oh no I'm late! (runs off with a black bag similar to Roxas's)

Demyx- I guess no one really cares about me,hmmm (whimpers)

Skip

At the Emo boys club

Vincent- okay Emo boy honorary member of the month is Roxas, snaps for Roxas (said in dull tone as everyone starts snapping)

Roxas- I won, oh my god this is an amazing achievement,yaaay (said in bored tone)

Riku- how did I not win, I've worked so hard (said in bored...okay you can just assume that everything will be said in bored tones!)

Xexion- (opens...black door) I am here

Vincent- Snaps for Xexion (everyone snaps)

Xexion- I achieved something, my life is now complete, I wonder if I should end it, no i'll wait a little longer

Vincent- snaps for Xexion, he has made it through the killing yourself phase (everyone snaps) now cloud is going to announce some new news.

Cloud- There will be four new members, all female

everyone- cool

Riku- crap...i didn't say anything

Cloud- their names are Kairi,Yuffie, Aerith, and Marluxia- you may now come in

All four...obviously not emo...girls walked in

Xexion- the fourth one is not a girl

Roxas- no that is a man named Marluxia who is way to girly for his own good, we think it's a disease.

Vincent- hmmm last time I checked Yuffie you weren't emo.

Yuffie- no one loves me (sobs)

Aerith- I'm dead (sobs)

Kairi- I always end up pregnant in all these authors minds (sobs)

Marluxia- Everyone thinks I'm a girl! (sobs)

Vincent- Entry permission

Yuffie- Yaya (jumps in circle clapping excitedly)

Kairi- (hits Yuffie) sorry she's been told by many psychologists that jumping and clapping in a circle is the only way to stop herself from dying...

Vincent- on other business, it appears Riku has taken in the darkness-snaps for Riku it also appears that Cloud is trying to force away the darkness, but he's so Emo it doesn't matter,lets see...

Yuffie- sooo are we going to recite emo poetry and drink each others blood...that sounds wrong...

Roxas- no, we only do that on Fridays, duh

Cloud- we write poetry an Tuesdays

Riku- didn't you read the pamphlet?

Yuffie- I don't really like the whole reading thing sooo...

Xexion- so you've never read the Gothic vampire romance Vampire Kisses?

Yuffie- noooo

All emo boys...except for Marluxia- Legasp

Marluxia- I prefer Gossip Girl

Aerith- I love Twilight! (fangirl swoon)

Kairi- Hush Hush, Patch is sooo HOT (fans herself)

Xexion- are you team Edward or team Jacob?

Aerith- Oh Goodness Jacob for sure!

Xexion- agreed

Everyone- (stares)

Xexion- what!

Skip

Demyx- I am a no one you are so creamy I would like another bowl, you are a present for all the people, everyone must love you even Xigbar must love youuu, I am a no one you are so creamy I now need another bowl, bring you back as a present for all the people, everyone must love even Xigbar must love you. Have you forgotton your place? In my microwave, that step could kill a bus of kids, oh creamy chicken ramen,you are a good, why wouldn't they like you, who would want to break you... (sobs)

Narrarator- this is only the begginning of Demyx and his beloved sitar. When will she come back to him? No one knows. Will she ever, we'll just have to find out.

**Hehehe, this was part one of the missing sitar, lets hope he finds it soon cause these songs are getting harder and harder, oh and the last song was based off of I am a Pirate You Are a Princess by play radio play, also I pretty much own nothing at all in any of these chapters accept for my messed up brain. It all belongs to...well I don't really have time to name them all...byeee**


	9. Emo Boy Clubs and a Missing Sitar part 2

**Hehehe, new chappie up, this is the continuation of the last chapter. So fellow fanfictioners...don't die, that all I can say...except peace love and sitars, don't freakin ask...**

Demyx- (sobs)

Everyone in room- grrrr

Roxas- I am going to stand up for everything I hold dear as I show you this! (opens door awaiting a large orange tabby and a blue sitar)

Demyx- OMG, what is SHE doing here? (ignores sitar)

Tabby named Simba (oh Simbunny I will make you a star!)- mrow

Demyx- excuse me? (shocked bitchy face)

Simba- mroooooow (translation-foooood)

Everyone in room- awww, he's sooo cute and fat and innocent! _

Demyx- he is not, he's the devil! (shocked look)

Simba- prrrrrrrrr, mrow (rubs Roxas's leg)

Roxas- awww, I may be emo but I cannot ignore an adorkable fat cat's attention! (pouts)

Demyx-...

Everyone in room-lets go get him some food (everyone leaves)

Simba- (stands up grabs chainsaw and manically starts walking towards Demyx)

Demyx- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (sobs)

Roxas- what happened?

Demyx- cat...chainsaw...evil...manic...DIE!

Roxas- okaaaaay then (pets the now adorable purring cat) awww who's a cute wittle kitty! (leaves room)

Simba- mrah-ha-ha-ha-ha (holds Ax and waving it in the air)

Demyx- stay away from me demon cat!

Roxas- why are you being sooo mean to my wittle buddy? (stares at cat happily while wearing a bubblegum pink apron with a cat's face on it) Yes I wuv you kitty!

Demyx- (shocked face)

Roxas- (leaves room)

Demyx- I don't know whats up with you but... (see's Simba licking the sitar) Oh no you didn't just lick my girl! _

Simba- Mrah

Demyx- hiss

Simba-...

Demyx- Raar fet fet (it's that weird noise cats supposedly make...its in the aristrocats...?)

Simba- Mrah?

Demyx- die evil cat pulls out blade, en garde

Simba- (Grabs flare gun and makes head motion- two cats go in a pale sand colored one and a grey cat each holding weapons of own choice)

Demyx- :o ...ummm

Simba- mrah (another cat that happens to be dressed in clothing...meaning red pumps- how do cats wear pumps?- and a red fur...eek...coat)

Demyx- ummm

(this cat just so happens to be male and Simba's wannabe boy-toy (no offense to all gays) Hehehe (jacinda- this is gizmo...mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha)

Demyx- I give in... why is there an emo cat?

Simba- …

(both look over to see a fluffy blue eyed cat emoing in the corner)

Demyx-...

Simba-...

Demyx-...

Simba-...

Shadow(emo cats name)-...

Demyx-...

Simba-...

Shadow-...

Sammy-...!

Demyx- who's he?

Simba-...

Demyx- give me my girlfriend back!

Simba- hiss

Demyx- please!

Simba- hiss

Demyx- (eyes tear up and face forms into an absolutely freakin adorable pout) Pweaze!

Simba-...

Demyx-(whimpers)

Simba-...

Demyx- (sobs while eyes go so bambi there's no going back)

Simba- (gives in waving a mini white flag)

Demyx- (instantly ok) yay! (grabs his sitar and starts singing to her)

Roxas- where's Simba?

Demyx- he left!

Roxas- face forms the sweetest bambi eyes in existence) Simba...

Xexion- were going to be late for the you know what at the you know where!

Roxas- (snaps out of it and runs out the door after Xexion)

Demyx- oh I love you, you pretty musical instruments! I missed you (AN that would almost be cute if he weren't talking to an instrument)

Sara(the sitars name because I'm listening to Sara Smiles by panic at the disco)- oh, Demmy I didn't want to leave you! He forced me to!

Demyx- It's okay baby!

Sara- I love you!

Demyx- I love you too!

Xigbar- (watching from around the corner) oh my freakin God, it actually talks! I want one!

Demon monkey that can talk and lives in Xigbars bedroom...area...hole...ummm...DIE!- aren't I good enough for you master? Not many monkeys can talk and are quite so loyal!

Xigbar- I suppose my pet (pats monkey on the head) we must get to him soon, but first I will now watch my new music video (opens laptop)

Vanity- Lady Gaga- video improvements

Midnight at the glamor show on Sunday night Everybody drink a lotta whiskey and wine **Drinking from apple and eve juice box (still terrified of alcohol)**

We dance like no tomorrow, we're on burlesque time **Dancing in circle while slowly stripping off the silver-tight dress in pieces and discarding them onto the floor of his bedroom**

But everybody's gotta work tomorrow at nine **making clock formation with hands then lading in front of a certain nude part of his body as he thrusts in a michael jackson way**

Touch me, t-t-touch me, baby But don't mess up my hair **two men kissing along his exposed neck as he flips his hair**

Love me, l-love me crazy But don't get too attached, this is a brink affair **winks**

Vanity (Pictures in magazines, movie screens) **flipping through magazine**

Vanity (There is a camera, so many beauty queens) **wears really tall crown while posing for a camera that happens to be held up by a monkey**

Vanity (It's so good to be) Popular and glamorous, we love ourselves and no one else **touching himself inapropriately**

Vanity, va-va-vanity, vanity **strutting around in fluffy pink dress**

Nothin' wrong with being just a little bit vain **stares in mirror while sliding on some lipstick**

We need a little pretty 'cause this country's insane **wearing a giant map of the U.S around his nude self**

So go ahead and label me whatever you like **words written all over him**

But nothings quite as sexy as a man is fine **checking some poor dude out**

Touch me, touch me, baby but don't mess up my hair **same as before**

Love me, love me crazy But don't get too attached, this is a brink affair **same just add lipskick**

Vanity (Pictures in magazines, movie screens) **same**

Vanity (There is a camera, so many beauty queens) **wearing a hot pink showgirl costume and boa**

Vanity (It's so good to be) Popular and glamorous, we love ourselves and no one else **heart drawn across his chest**

Vanity, va-va-vanity, vanity 

Look at me (Watcha lookin' at?) Look at me (Watcha starin' at?) **pointing at poster of justin beiber**

Look at me (Watcha lookin' at?) Look at me (Watcha starin' at?) **faints pathetically**

I'm comin' around, I'm sippin' on Andre, it's time [unverified] **ummm, not going to say whats going on here, it is quite M rated**

I heard that you did the back star [unverified] in the party line **kissing justin beibers photo**

Let's dance (Quick round) We're in the vanity house **dancing on pole**

We'll cover the secret diamonds [unverified] **draping himself in diomonds**

Touch me, touch me, baby but don't mess up my hair **all will be the same**

Love me, love me crazy But don't get too attached, this is a brink affair 

Vanity (Pictures in magazines, movie screens)

Vanity (There is a camera, so many beauty queens) 

Vanity (It's so good to be) Popular and glamorous, we love ourselves and no one else

Vanity, va-va-vanity, vanity **kisses the screen goodbye**

Xigbar- I am so freakin awesome

Random people who see it-

Mommy

Need Vodka

God help us

Eyes burned...

great, now i'm scarred for life

who is he and what does he have against the world?

Oooh, who is that hot thing right there?

everyone- …

number 7- what?

Everyone- eek

Number 5- was he wearing a a diamond on his...

Everyone- SHUT UP!

Number 5- sorry...

**Soooo, was that da CREEPIEST thing you have ever read? I am changing the rating to M for these music vids. If you feel uncomfortable reading them don't blame me, just don't read them!**

**Oh and Jacinda- the pervert hand is watching you, hehehe**

**oh and PRAISE TO TIRED GIRL WHO REVIEWED ME TWICE hehehe THANX!**

**...oh and I guess I should technically give praise to Jacinda weire for reviewing three times but... I know her... but fine PRAISE FOR JACINDAWEIRE WHOM REVIEWED THREE TIMES! and the pervert hand is still watching you (smiles evily)**


	10. Perverts and Puppets

**New chappie is beginning, the new rating is all xigbars fault and his creepy music videos. Here I go!\ I own nofin but m psycho mind and awesome ideas!**

Flashback-

Narrator- Sora sat beside an overly smiling bratty Kairi who held a sock on her hand. Riku looked longingly at Sora even though he was only seven at the time.

Kairi- I like sock puppets!

Sora- They are freakin creepy! Ha, I have more explanation points than you! I win!

Kairi- Sora, your so mean to me! (sobs)

Sora- ha I know right! you know what's cooler than sock puppets? Ninja's

Riku- I'm a ninja Sora!

Sora- (ignores)

Riku- (pouts)

Kairi- well then lets see how you feel about weak little sock puppets when I'm done with you!

Sora- (uncaring)

Kairi- here's Nani (pulls out a deranged doll with bright red lipstick and tentacles pouring out of its foot scented body, add to it the horn rimmed glasses and the beard with the gray hair) then we have Tofu (pulls out a black sock with red eyes and a snake tongue, add to that the long claw arms) and of course my favorite Ginger the Ninja (pulls out a black grandma with ginger colored hair that stuck in the air like fire and demented googly eyes that bore into him, add to that the green pus coming out of a sewn together scar and the Ax in its claw-like hands. Large teeth stuck out of its pus filled mouth)

Sora-...

Kairi- isn't she beautiful? (hugs the demented creature)

Sora- (sobs) get...it...away...from...me...(runs off screaming)

End of flashback-

Demyx- I love these little dudes, this one is the happy one this one is the grumpy one and...

Axel- let me see one of them! (grabs a sock puppet from Dem Dem's grasp) and this is the Pervy one!

Demyx-...

Roxas- oh and this is the Emo one! (looks down at black puppet he stole from Demyx)

Xigbar- ooh, this is the psycho-stalker (everyone looks at him)

Demyx- but that was the happy one, now the grumpy one doesn't have anyone to make him happy. My game is ruined. (eats cookie)

Axel- not necessarily, I have a new game...

Demyx- (jumps up happily) what is it?

Axel- heheheh

Skip-

an hour later at the closest mall where one author and soulless ginger that often comes up happens to be

Axel- hehehe

Demyx- this doesn't seem like a very fun game...

Axel- oh it is... look Xigbar's already on the hunt. Look at that ginger by the coffee stand (twitch)coffee...Apocalypse... (twitch)

Xigbar- (holding psycho-stalker puppet up behind the gingers head)

Jacinda-...

Axel- hehehe

Xigbar- (follows the now moving Jacinda)

Jacinda- …

Demyx- is he winning?

Axel- I'm not really sure if you'd call this a Winning game, it's more of a feel good game...

Demyx- :o

Xigbar's puppet- (stare)

Jacinda- (walk's unknowingly towards Axel and the perv puppet)

Axel- Yay, it's my turn! (grabs Pervy puppet with excitement)

Axel's puppet- (pet's Jacinda's flaming red hair)

Jacinda- (smacks)

Axel's puppet- I like red hair...

Jacinda- (smacks)

Axel's puppet- (touches her shoulder)

Jacinda- (smacks) I hope you know, this is my angry hand and if you make to emo hand come after me I will smack you harder than ever, he get's upset easily... (pats left hand)

Axel's puppet- (pet's hair again)

Jacinda's emo hand- (smacks and twists wrist) grrrrr

Axel's puppet- nothing will stop me...

Jacinda's emo hand- (smacks repeatedly)

Axel's puppet- (still alive)

Jacinda- grrrr

Xigbar's stalker puppet- (hit's Jacinda on the head making her pass out)

Xigbar- Is it Friday yet?

Axel- (nods)

Xigbar- yay (pull's away Jacinda's body as he smiles like a creeper)

Demyx- I haven't had any fun with anyone (pouts)

Axel- you wouldn't want to have that kind of fun...

Demyx- oh I have that every Saturday...

Axel- (passes out)

Demyx- yay!

Demyx's angry puppet- grrrr, stupid, you can have fun if you talk with us more often...

Demyx's quiet but not emo hand- yes, yes you can. Just talk with us...

Demyx- Otay!

Demyx's angry puppet- stop being so annoying, your just a lonely idiot with a sitar for a girlfriend!

Demyx's quiet but not emo hand- yes, yes that is true.

Demyx- I don't like you guys!

Demyx's angry puppet- of course you don't but when the coffee apocalypse comes we will be you only friends!

Demyx-...

Demyx's angry puppet- attack! (both puppet's attack poor Dem Dem's face and rob him)

Skip-

Demyx- (walk's in with torn clothes and a cut on his forehead)

Xemnas- what did you do this time Nine? (looks at him boredly while filing his finger nails)

Demyx- my hand's robbed me...

**Sooooo, it's kind of short and random and not very well written and I have no clue why I put that whole sora kairi part in at the top, I was bored... sooooo how was it? did you like it did you like it? did ya did ya?**

**READ AND FRICKEN REVIEW PEOPLEZ!**


	11. I don't like you like that!

**This is a filler! I hate myself for this but I can't really make this very long...**

**here I go...**

Demyx- look there's this weird website called Fanfiction...

Roxas- I wont look at it, whenever you show us something it ends up turning out perverted...

Demyx- oh look they have NamineXroxas stories... (pushed out of chair)

Demyx- look there are 6,347 stories just about you and Axel, hmm this one sounds good...

Ten minute's later-

Demyx- (twitch) I thought lemons was (twitch) part of the story (twitch) not that...I don't like AkuRoku... (twitch)

Roxas- why (twitch) did you (twitch) show me that (twitch)

Demyx- I didn't (twitch) think it was like that...(twitch)

Axel- hey guys!

Roxas- keep that thing away from me! (twitch)

Demyx- is that how it really works? (curious)

Axel- what?... oh and Roxy, wanna go get some sea salt ice cream?

Roxas- Ahhhhhhhh, I don't like you like that! (run's out of room crying)

Axel- ?

Demyx- read this

Axel- okay...

Five minutes later-

Axel- that's hot!

Demyx- ewww

**Soooo, was that filler enough for you? It was pointless but I really wanted to throw it in there...**


	12. Elmos World!

**This is another filler...and go!**

Jacinda- (glares)

Xigbar- I need you for this music video! Stay still!

Music video to Elmo's World-

La-la la-la **(moving pictures)**  
>La-la la-la <strong>(screen pans in and shows a ginger female in an elmo costume)<strong>  
>Elmo's world <strong>(she is now glaring at a fishbowl while dancing)<strong>

La-la la-la **(dancing ginger)**  
>La-la la-la <strong>(flames rise up in her soulless ginger anger)<strong>  
>Elmo's world<p>

Elmo loves his goldfish **(goldfish with Xigbar's fave photo-shopped in while he does the makarana AN that is not how you spell it)**

His crayon, too **(xigbar's face is on the crayon as she draws a picture of elmo chainsawing off Xigbars head)**

That's Elmo's World! **(Nude Xigbar jumps out smiling like a beauty queen as the ginger pukes her guts up)**

Jacinda- please someone save me?

Xexion- (walks in in only a towel causing Jacinda to swoon) this is not the Emo Boys Feel Uncomfortable Unless There Alone Sauna

Jacinda- are you here to save me?

Xexion- no, i'm trying to find my personal sauna-nice elmo suit... (walks away)

Jacinda- (Sobs) someone save me!

Marluxia- (walks in) I'll save you fair maiden!

Jacinda- on second thought...

Marluxia- (picks up Jacinda and pulls her out of the room)**  
><strong>Jacinda- Ahhh, it touched me!

**That was for you JacindaWeire, thanks for the review...and be happy I saved you and didn't let Xigbar rape you..._ hehehe**


	13. The Muppet's are coming!

**Demyx likes the muppets, that my only explanation, this is a filler chappie sooo...tehe**

Demyx- does anyone wake up in the middle of the night dreaming of a better life?

Axel- well there was this one time where I thought it would be fun to live a day as a slice of pie...i mean no, I have never done that.

Roxas- pie is good:)

axel-...

Roxas- what?

Axel- are you insinuating something?

Roxas-...nooooo, nooo why would I ever...how could you I mean come on i'm mean...like noooo, never really your sick I mean noooo. Would you want me to?

Axel-...

Roxas- hehehe**scratches head nervously**

Demyx- I've always thought it would be cool to be a muppet!

Axel-...

Roxas-...

Demyx-**in thought**

doodododooododoo

**Axel and roxas in hot pink fur dresses and hats standing beside eachother swaying from side to side- Demyx walks up in a green fur costume with glasses on and a large pink nose with rust coloreds spray paint covering his face**

demyx-mahnamahna

Axel and Roxas- dodo-dododo

Demyx-mahnamahna

axel and roxas- dododo-do

Demyx-mahnamahna

axel and roxas- dododo-dodo-dodo-do-dododo-do-do-do-do!

Demyx-...

Axel and roxas- **stares**

Demyx-mahnamahna

Axel and Roxas-dodo-dododo

Demyx-mahnamahna

Axel and roxas-dododo-do

demyx-mahnamahna

Axel and roxas- dododo-dodo-dodo-do-dododo-do-do-do-do!

**bows**

**out of dream-state**

Axel and roxas- **stares**

Demyx- ITS REAL!

**yup, that was a nice little filler chappie. If you want to see the reall vid go on youitube and look up the muppets- mahnamahna, thats what this was based off of soooo...until next time folks:)**


	14. Porn and Superhero's

**Chappie fourteen!:)**

Demyx- I feel pretty oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gaaaaay! (singing and dancing in front of mirror unaware of the fact that Axel is videotaping)

Axel- yeah you are!

Demyx- who said that! **terror**

Axel- the ghost of your secret past! **making ghost noises**

Demyx- but...bu...but I didn't do anything!

Axel- You LIED!

Demyx- About what sir! (scared out of his wits)

Axel- tell the world the truth about your crimes!

Demyx- FINE, I ate Axel's chocolate chip cookies that Roxas made for AkuRoku day not knowing they were for that!

Axel- (shows his face) YOU DID WHAT!~

Demyx- o ...X(

Sora- why do people get hurt? Why can't they just use a healing potion?

Kairi- cause not everyone is a video-game character Sora.

Sora- but why not?

Kairi- because...cheese, that's why. No one eats enough...cheese so they can't be video game characters.

Sora- it all make's sense now!

Kairi's internet lesson-

Kairi- now everyone, the internet is a wonderful thing with magical pictures and videos on it. First we have YouTube. Anyone have a guess as to what that is for?...Sora?

Sora- is that where you buy the cheese that makes you into a video game character?

Kairi-(face palm) nooo...Riku?

Riku- it's for videos.

Kairi- very good! Now what is facebook?

Roxas- it's for...**interrupted**

Axel- IT'S FOR PORN!

Kairi-...o...noooo...

Roxas- why do you always have to interrupt me! As I was saying. Facebook is for...

Axel- Porn

Roxas- **glares** it's for...

Axel- Pornpornporn

Roxas- shut the fuck up and let me talk! It's for...

Axel- it's for freakin porn...

Roxas- Noooo it's for!

Axel- porno's

Roxas- shut your mouth Axel before I make you do the caterpillar naked in a pot of hot cheese!

Axel- **scared look*

Roxas- thank you! It's for drugs.

Axel- drugs and...

Roxas- shut up! It's for freakin drugs. Meth Crack Marijuana heroine and a continuous list D R U G S!

Kairi- actually it's just a social website...

Roxas- well, I almost wish it were for porn now...

Axel- Ninja Axel to the rescue! Oh no Jane don't fall from that building! I'll save you!

Roxas- **staring out window somehow not finding this odd**

Axel- No Jane! I wont let you come to harm for me! Pow pow pow!

Xemnas- God he's such an idiot.

Saix- I agree master. (said in voice similar to Igor as Victor Frankenstein s servant dude)

Demyx- what is he doing? **confused**

Roxas- imagining himself as a hero called Ninja Axel with his fine maiden whom always finds trouble named Jane. At the moment he is saving her from a building in which Saix the Mad tied her to the top of and blew up. It's in slow motion as we speak so he's not sure if he's going to kill her off for a dramatic ending or save her and the day and place in a romantic kiss scene. (all said in monotone voice)

Demyx-...

Axel- Oh Jane I wish we could share one last kiss.

Axel with girly voice- We can! Kiss me my love Ninja Axel!

Axel- I will avenge your death. The horrible Saix the Mad will pay for this my love!

Axel with girly voice- thank you my wonderful hero! **chokes**

Axel- **Sobs** oh Jane...

Axel- little buddy (Roxas- his sidekick) were gonna go kick some mad man ass! **cheers**

Axel in girly voice- Of course Axel though I may have to warn you it will be dangerous...

Axel- I know roxas...i know!

Roxas's superhero comic book-

Roxas- Namine I will not let you die!

Namine- but I'm evil sweet Roxas the Great. I have no good left in me...

(Roxas...the great?)

Roxas- what makes you think I'm any better my sweet? **flips hair in dramatic way before kissing namine**

Axel- would you like tea sire?

Roxas- no Axel but I would like some...Justice

Namine- oh roxas the great your too great for me1 how will I ever allow such wonder to enter my dangerous life?

Roxas- dear sweet namine I live for danger

Namine- **fangirl swoons**

Axel-(whispers to Roxas) would you like me to get my secret sidekick stuff together from the lair?

Roxas- no Axel...today your a butler, tomorrow we'll do something easy like end world hunger or cure cancer. Sora the villainous will never get far!

**And we thought Roxas was more normal than axel, there both the same:) review plz!**


	15. Demyx? Are you gonna be my gay?

**A new addition to xigbars musical addictions:)**

the group of people stand quietly staring at the music video Xemnas put on(on mistake)

Go! (**xigbar shows up in a puff of smoke in a black leather speedo with little red rhinestone hearts all along to top.)**

So one, two, three, take my hand and come with me **(holds out his hand to cardboard Demyx playing a sitar)**  
>Because you look so fine <strong>(running a finger down his chest) <strong>  
>That I really wanna make you mine. (<strong>doing michael jackson thrusts<strong>:)

I say you look so fine (**winks)**  
>That I really wanna make you mine. <strong>(michael jacksons back<strong>)

Oh, four, five, six c'mon and get your kicks **(does some weird karate kick making his speedo rip slightly in the back)**  
>Now you don't need that money <strong>(licking a hundread dollar bill)<strong>  
>When you look like that, do ya honey. <strong>(fanning himself)<strong>

Big black boots,** (pulling big black boots along his unshaved legs)**  
>spiked blonde hair, <strong>(touching his hair very awkwardly)<strong>  
>he's so sweet <strong>(points at the cardboard demyx)<strong>  
>With his get back stare. <strong>(stares at the camera creepily)<strong>

[Chorus]  
>Well I could see, <strong>(does that whole im watching you thing with his fingers)<strong>  
>You home with me, <strong>(cue him holding a really kindergardenerish picture of a house)<strong>  
>But you were with another man, yeah! <strong>(ripping apart cardboard sitar with teeth)<strong>  
>I know we, <strong>(does a couple of thrusts) <strong>  
>Ain't got much to say, <strong>(runs finger along tongue)<strong>  
>Before I let you get away, yeah <strong>(holding out noose rather sadistically)<strong>

I said are you gonna be my gay? **(more awkward thrusts)  
><strong>  
>Well, so one, two, three, take my hand and come with me <strong>(holds out hand)<strong>  
>Because you look so fine <strong>(we have already been through this...) <strong>  
>That I really wanna make you mine. <strong>(really we have)<strong>

I say you look so fine **(shaking his butt **add ripped speedo** right in the camera)**  
>That I really wanna make you mine. <strong>(licking the cardboard demyx rally weirdly)<strong>

Oh, four, five, six c'mon and get your kicks **(kicks the camera making it fall over- runs over and** **straightens it)**  
>Now you don't need that money <strong>(throwing a whole bunch of money on the floor)<strong>  
>With a face like that, do ya. <strong>(carressing his own face)<strong>

Big black boots, **(does a repeat of the boots)**  
>spiked blonde hair, (<strong>flipping his hair)<strong>  
>he's so sweet (<strong>eating candy really weirdly)<strong>  
>With his get back stare. <strong>(acting as if he is biting camera**for some reason**)<strong>

[Chorus]

Oh yeah, oh yeah, c'mon! **(cue air guitar)**  
>I could see, <strong>(jabs his good making him flip out )<strong>  
>You home with me, <strong>(still flipping out)<strong>  
>But you were with another man, yeah! <strong>(realizes he is supposed to be doing something)<strong>  
>I know we, <strong>(stares at camera confused)<strong>  
>Ain't got much to say, <strong>( makes an "oh" face and attemps to catch us)<strong>  
>Before I let you get away, yeah!<strong> (cue random monkey jumping around room yelling a xigbar)<strong>  
>Uh, be my gay. <strong>(hears him yell SHIT as you see the speedo tear in two)<strong>  
>Be my gay. <strong>( does a couple thrusts **without speedo-pukes** )<strong>  
>Are you gonna be my gay? (<strong>still thrusting his junk was going everywhere)<strong>  
>Yeah. (<strong>how did this become one person porn?)<strong>

Xemnas- O_O

Larxene- did we not tell you about that?

Xemnas- O_O

Axel- it appears we didn't

Xemnas- O_O

Marluxia- what was he doing on xigbars laptop anyways? (says while flipping his hair really really gayly and chewing gum)

Xemnas- O_O just...trying...to...watch...little...mermaid...on...youtube...

Larxene- then why on xigbars laptop?

Xemnas- Computer...broke...down...really...wanted...to...watch...the...little...mermaidO_O

Larxene- well you may not want to go on xigbars laptop every tuesday or thursday.

Xemnas-O_O (nods head)

Demyx- O_O where did he get a card board cutout of me?

Everyone- **stares**

**well it may be perverted weird creepy wimpy updating but its still updating:) hope you enjoyed...if thats even possible. While I was writing this I was thing WTH the whole time. What is wrong with me? someone please help me figure out! Hey I know how you could do that:) READ AND REAVIEWWWWWWWWW:):):):):):):) hahahhahaha bet you didn't see that one coming:)**


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